No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
