I hate your face
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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