I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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