Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I won the penis lottery.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
