Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
