Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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