Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
