Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
