So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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