Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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