Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
