Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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