Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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