Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
