Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
