Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
