check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize