Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
