bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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