I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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