Got a toothbrush?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
