You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
