Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
