i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
