i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
