Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
