This girl is more easily done than said...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
