Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
