I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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