I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
