i would punch a child for taco bell
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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