kristin has been a bad kristin
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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