Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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