every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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