I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
