For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
