so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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