I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
