smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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