Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
