But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
