is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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