That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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