i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
