whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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