Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
