I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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