Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I FOUND THE LEGS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
