So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
