that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize