He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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