Tell her she can't have a vagina
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
