So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
