I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
