This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
