We're like a lot better than the average bears
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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