One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
