3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
