we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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