Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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