he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
