so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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